Doing better...

Mark and I went to two group get togethers yesterday for adoptive families and I'm feeling better. Also have had some time and perspective. It's still not easy but everyone that goes through the delays and changes in the adoption process knows what we are going through and can relate to where we are. If they've been there they really know and they can all empathize.

The inter-racially mixed family group of mostly adoptive families met in our neighborhood. There were kids of all ages playing on the piano, running around and doing what kids do. We ran into people that we know from living here and enjoyed getting to know them better and talking about everything with them. There were quite a few families and so many different adoption stories. This is a small town and we are a part of a special community now.

We went to meet up with another group for our first get together after that and might combine forces with the first group. Several families are traveling to bring home their child or newly returned so it turned out to be just us and another couple but it was a really good visit. They have been through the adoption ringer but are SO close to becoming parents and being home with their adorable boy. They had pictures of their little boy in Ethiopia that another family took for them and had all of the news from families that had been to Ethiopia recently. Their court date is coming up and their visa appointment is right after. The months be tween the referral and court have been hard but having the pictures and news from people has helped. We talked about our experiences and that overpowering yearning that I feel was the same in her. While it's hard on our guys it was funny that as couple we were the same. She and I worry and keep track of everything and they try not to read all the emails and chat site stuff because it's overwhelming and we are addicted!

I can't wait for the next get togethers and feel such relief that we will have people that know what this all is to share with as we go along this path of growing as a family. As much as I appreciate everyone's love and support it is also important to have people that understand from walking in the same shoes. It takes so much explaining to everyone else and always will. That's normal and fine but to not explain but just to have a statement accepted and understood is calming. To have responses that not only support and encourage but specifically address issues. Nice. Everyone at the get togethers encouraged us but they did it knowing that things will keep changing, it can get harder, it might not work out, it really hurts and that we will be OK and that we can become parents no matter what it will just take more than we could have ever anticipated or understood till we went through it. And after being around all the families, some that are or have adopted more than once and in so many ways, it's the love that we all want to share as parent's that we felt yesterday. It's there in the kids and we'll get there.