We are probably going to be waiting for even longer than we can imagine at this point. From here on out I really can't even begin to guess what the future holds. This process is one that we knew would not be easy. We knew it would be a lot of work. We knew it would be hard. We knew there would be uncertainty. We knew from others that had adopted that there would be tears as we went along. Tears of sadness as we comprehended the causes of so many orphans, confusion as we tried to do everything that was required, frustration as we waited, and all of these tears would be in hope for the tears of joy as we became parents. We had another notice of bad news and 3 to 6 months of addtional delays Friday. As I cried Friday night I realized that no matter what you hear, no matter where you are in the process there is no way to be ready for or to tolorate the pain of continually hearing of furthor extensive delays and possibly having your hopes smashed alltogether. This little girl is real. I have cried for her losing her mom, for her losing her country, culture, and anyone that has ever cared for her and all of the pain and confusion that she has been through in her short life. She may not be born yet but that is what many children around the world go through all the time before they are adopted. That is what our child will have gone through no matter how we adopt. Even if this adoption does not work out there are is a beautiful soul in Ethiopia that might have been for our hearts. For her we have been waiting, planning, and dreaming with such love and care and if we lose her we will always have her in our hearts. Right now though it just hurts so much and I really don't know quite how to handle it.